#2 - First Job (w/ Josh Simpson)
20 Sided Stories
MARVEL: Survivors of The Snap
Episode 2 - First Job
Air Date: February 19, 2020
[Podcast Intro music plays throughout.]
Sage G.C.: 20 Sided Stories has absolutely no affiliation with Marvel Studios, Marvel Entertainment, The Walt Disney Company, or any other associates or official canon.
Travis Reaves: This is a fan-made parody piece created in fair use, and all mentioned names, products, trademarks, and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.
Jessica Dahlgren: The bulk of what you're about to hear was recorded live by improvisers who love the MCU, and we're so excited for you to join us on this superpowered adventure.
[Intro music crescendos.]
Travis: Thank you.
Jessica: And welcome.
Sage: To 20 Sided Stories.
[Intro music fades out.]
Prologue |
[Radio switches on.]
Woman: You're listening to…
[Rock music introduction.]
Man: 616 Power!
Bart: [sighs] Thank you for tuning into Power 616 FM. I'm your host, Bart, but I've been taking the call myself The News.
Today multiple sightings have been reported throughout Los Angeles of quote unquote “shady” people on street corners and in front of coffee shops with “The end is near” on everybody's lips, screaming out “the end is near” at passersby. “The end is near” sandwich signs on their backs as they do their rounds. Raving lunatics in the streets.
This is me coming to you live alone [sighs] in the studio. Oh, here's a news piece. Uh, there is an escalating conflict between these two groups of people, these Fort folk—hippie burnouts—versus a group calling themselves the Castletons, who are escalating the violence in the streets.
This is a big public safety problem. But since when did people care about public safety? Because sometimes that comes back on us. Just wanted to throw that out there. There's not a whole lot of other news.
If I had someone to help me report the news, that would be nice, but I can only report so much. And inexplicably, even though we're all kind of at half-mast here, traffic is still congested on the 405.
This has been The News. Wishing you a great rest of your twenty minutes. And now rock ’n’ roll.
[Rock music.]
Episode Two - First Job |
[Chatter is heard in the background. Rock music plays throughout.]
Narrator: Eric Stanton, Lily Kline, and Masha Mirova aka Scry, Bloodhound, and Roulette, were all struggling as rejects three years into a near-apocalyptic Snap. But they struck a deal that may turn things around.
Eric, being a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and PI, is going to help Masha and Lily find their sister, Rose, in exchange for some added protection as Eric tries to figure out why he's being hunted by people in trench coats.
For the time being, our three heroes have joined the Fort, a former Griffith Observatory turned commune for up and coming indie supers. It's early in the evening, following the night of their first tour and a scuffle with a rival Castleton, Scry, Bloodhound, and Roulette are simply hanging out.
Masha: [sighs] Wow. It's like, exciting to be back. [chuckles] I have good memories now here, you know? I- I didn't think that I was actually gonna…
Lily: Yeah, you kicked ass.
Masha: Yeah. [chuckles]
Eric: That was very impressive. You turned into the Hulk and threw a lady in a tin can off of a mountain. I didn't think I was gonna say that sentence in my life. But you did it. It’s great.
Masha: Thanks!
Lily: I was hoping I would get to say that sentence in my life. But Eric said it first.
Masha: Oh.
Lily: So.
Eric: I mean, you can still say it.
Lily: No, it's gone now.
Eric: Alright.
Indie Hero: [distant] Hit Man. More like Can't Man! Am I right?
Indie Hero 2: [distant] Yeah. Dude, go long!
[Hero 2 throws a football and a window shatters.]
Eric: Gotta say, probably the best outcome of a Craigslist response I've ever had.
Lily: Yeah, I was gonna ask you at some point. Like, do you answer a lot o’ Craigslist ads?
Eric: No, not really, but I don’t like to miss out on work so I have an alert system set up for when someone needs a private investigator on Craigslist. Turns out...pretty much never.
Lily: What's the best thing you've ever had to find for someone?
[Beat.]
Eric: [quiet] A ring.
[Beat.]
Masha: Like…? I mean—
Eric: It was in the drawer.
[Beat.]
Masha: That's the best thing?
Eric: I made forty bucks.
[Beat.]
Masha: Are you an actual PI?
Lily: Yeah. Or is that just, like, a cover?
Eric: I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.!
Lily: Yeah…
Masha: And the best thing you've ever found was a ring?
Eric: Well, I mean as a- as a freelancer.
Lily: Are you, like, the- the West Coast Jessica Jones?
[Masha snorts.]
Don't laugh Masha. He might be. [chuckles]
Eric: Yeah, just without the 12-step program.
Masha: Oh…
Lily: [quiet] Ouch. Wow.
Masha: Do you know her?
Eric: Sorry, there's a lot of animosity between private eyes.
Masha: Wait, do you know her?
Eric: Do I know her?
Masha: She’s really cool.
Eric: Yeah, we meet at the superhero private investigator meetings that happen every Thursday.
Lily: Did she punch you in the face?
Eric: Look, it’s not [scoffs] a bad thing—
Masha: Did she hold you like a baby?
Lily: Did she punch you in the face?
[Eric sighs.]
Have you been punched by Jessica Jones?
Masha: [gasps] Did you date Jessica Jones?
Eric: We— Date is a strong word!
[Lily and Masha gasp.]
We met once! It was—
Masha: You went on a date [squeals]!
Lily: Oh, you went on one date and she never called you!
Masha: Oh god!
Lily: Was that the vibe? Vibe check.
Eric: I'm done talking about this.
Lily: Okay.
Masha: We don't have to talk about your dating…
Lily: Better hope we don’t get any East Coast jobs.
Masha: Yeah. That would be real awkward.
[Lily and Masha chuckle together.]
Indie Hero: [distant] Cloak and Dagger ain’t got nothin’ on my Cloak and Swagger, am I right, guys?
Indie Hero 2: [distant] You’re right! Go long again!
[Indie Hero 1 chuckles. A swish is heard and another window shatters. A cat yowls.]
Eric: So I’m a little confused as to how this whole gig thing works here. Are we just supposed to go up to like- it's like a job board or something? I don't- they didn't- they weren't too clear on how this whole, like, getting work goes.
Masha: That's probably a good question.
Eric: We're supposed to go, like, do hero stuff?
Lily: Could we, like, find somebody that we know, and maybe ask them? And also ask them where the restroom is. And make sure there's toilet paper beforehand, because this doesn't strike me as a toilet paper place.
Eric: It strikes me as a toilet.
[Sage and Jessica chuckle.]
Sage: And then with a huff and a puff, but not angry, a funky-looking dude approaches, blowing a little smoke from his nose with his apparent powers. You recognize him from the night prior, right-hand man of Roach, it's Siggy.
[Footsteps tap as Siggy walks up to the trio.]
Siggy: Hey, kids. How's it goin’?
Masha: Oh, hey!
Eric: Hey.
Lily: Hey.
Masha: Um, what was your name again?
Siggy: Uh, you can call me Siggy. Siggy’s fine, yeah.
Masha: Siggy, cool.
Lily: Okay, I have a question.
Siggy: Alright, I have an answer.
Lily: I know it's probably, like, a question you get a lot but like…
Siggy: Uh-huh?
Lily: Can you- can you blow it out of…
Siggy: Wow.
Masha: Lily!
[Stifled laughter.]
Siggy: That is- that is not the question I was expecting.
Masha: Lily!
Siggy: Usually I get—
Lily: Oh come on!
Siggy: —usually I get the chicken or the egg question. Like, do they call you Siggy because of the smoke or were you Siggy before? That's the more common one.
Eric: People ask that of you? I feel like it’s pretty—
Siggy: Yeah. I have it all the time.
Eric: I'd imagine Siggy an’ the smoke. I don't think I've ever met someone named Siggy before.
Siggy: My real name is Sigmund.
Eric, Lily, Masha: [together] Oooh!
Siggy: Yeah, had you goin’ there, huh?
Masha: Oh, so it’s with an “S”.
Eric: Well, fuck me.
Siggy: Are you guys looking for your first gig? Is that…
Eric: Yeah. So how does that work? You just tell us to do stuff? Is this—
Siggy: Yeah, essentially.
Eric: —a mission?
Siggy: I'm, uh, actually the one, more or less, in charge of the gig distribution. If you're looking for something to do you come and see ol’ Siggy. Having spent some time out in the streets, well, you hear some things don't you? When you- when you're out there, people talk, they whisper, and I heard whisperings. Lots of whisperings. And I write them down and I give them to people like you. People who got abilities and whatnot.
Masha: So- so we go to you?
Siggy: Yeah, yeah. You come to me.
Eric: Do you have any whisperings for us?
Lily: Do you have a list, or…
Siggy: Yes sir, yes sir. Let's see.
[A box clatters lightly as Siggy opens it. Note cards rustle as he looks through them.]
So…uh, let's see. Here we got…alright. Anybody here ever been to Long Beach around here? Spent some time in Long Beach?
Masha: Yeah we have an aunt that—
Lily: Not willingly.
Siggy: Yeah, oh.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
On the Port of Long Beach, we've been hearin’ that people have been, uh, bringin’ in something maybe not so…good. Not so legal. Can't say exactly what it is. It might be harmless. It's probably harmless. So we're gonna have you guys check it out. It should be just a simple, you know—
Eric: Can't or won't say?
Siggy: Well, don't get cancer. I don't know.
Eric: Oh, okay.
[Colton stifles laughter.]
Masha: Oh.
Siggy: If I knew I would tell you. I'm not gonna hold out on ya here.
Eric: ’Cause I can’t extrapolate what the fuck you're talking about.
Masha: So are they, like, importing—
Siggy: So they really heard about this on the street. There’s a—
Masha: Is it like drugs or…
Lily: It kinda sounds like drugs.
Siggy: Literally no idea. I have no idea.
Lily: Oh, that's- Wait. How—
Masha: I mean it could—
Eric: But if you had to guess, with all the…
[Sage chuckles.]
Siggy: I don’t know!
Eric: Can you- can you contextualize any—
Siggy: There’s something that they, like, brought in probably from, like, another country. It could be drugs, could be knock off CDs—
Masha: Exotic animals?
Siggy: —like- What? What? Sure.
Eric: Hold on. Knock off CDs?
Siggy: Yeah! Why not?
Masha: It could be exotic animals.
Lily: First of all, CDs?
Siggy: You know the little plastic things. They play music.
Eric: Alright.
Masha: She's too young to remember.
Lily: iPods?
Siggy: [scoffs] Alright, wow.
Sage: And then, wearing a V-neck with a stethoscope around it and some cheap torn jeans, a cool dude of average height walks in looking like he already knows what's up with this newbie job.
Dude: Hey, what's up, bro hams and [chuckles] ladies. Sorry.
Siggy: Guys, this is, uh, this is Dr. J. He will be escorting you on your first mission. This is, uh, something of a company policy.
Eric: Escorting?
Siggy: Yeah, he's kind of a—
Dr. J: Taggin’ along.
Siggy: Yeah.
Lily: What kind of doctor are you?
Siggy: He’s like a brain doctor.
Dr. J: He nailed it. I'm a brain doctor.
Lily: You’re a brain surgeon?
Dr. J: I’m a doctor of conflict resolution.
Lily: That’s a r—
Dr. J: Um, a doctor of virology. That was my old job.
Siggy: Hey, you should see his videos. It's good stuff.
Dr. J: “How to be the Best You”. I'm just here to kind of oversee— Make sure that you new- you new recruits are sort of just operating under company policy. Even just moral policy and just also friendship policy. ’Cause we’re—
Lily: You guys have company policy?
Masha: You have a friendship policy?
Siggy: Well, it’s— To be blunt, we like to, you know, make sure that you're not above our craziness threshold, if you will.
Dr. J: Well, that's not how we say that. So that's not how anyone should say that.
Siggy: Friendship Policy! We like to make sure—
Dr. J: It’s a Friendship Policy.
Sage: And then another entrance. The other punky-looking dude, who you met before who runs the show, and just loves to talk and talk, Roach approaches.
[Subtle adventure music builds.]
Roach: Hey, yo!
Siggy: Hey.
Roach: Heeey, Siggy! Dr. J! We got our first recruits comin’ in?
Siggy: Yeah, yeah, yeah! They're goin’ out for their first gig.
Eric: You’re giving us a fucking handler?
Siggy: Well…
Roach: Uh, it's just company policy. You know what I'm saying?
Lily: You guys have a company policy?
Siggy: Well…
Roach: Well, policy around here, is just like—
Eric: You don’t have—
Roach: —who writes stuff on the walls and then which…
Dr. J had a really big message he wrote out about friendship. And it was very inspiring. It was a year ago, so we decided that it was a good choice to bring the new recruits a, uh, a nice little escort.
Dr. J: I’m invisible.
Siggy: Yeah. You're lucky we’re not making you eat shit.
Dr. J: Yeah.
[Stifled laughter.]
That— N-no one’s gonna eat shit.
[Jessica laughs.]
I promise you that.
Masha: I mean, I don't think it's that big of a deal guys. It's like vetting, right? Like you guys are just m— It’s like we're on trial period or—
Lily: Do you have powers?
Dr. J: [chuckles] Hey, Roach, can you throw me that Spalding?
[Stifled laughter.]
Roach: Yeah, I got you- got you right here, Dr. J. You ready?
[A basketball bounces.]
Dr. J: Throw it up towards the—
[A swish is heard as Roach tosses the ball. Dr. J grunts and several basketball bounces are heard. A basketball hoop clatters.]
Reverse dunk!
Roach, Siggy: [together] Whoa!
[Basketball bounces away.]
Roach: Look at Dr. J!
Eric: That was- that was tight.
Roach: Never, never seen him ever miss a shot.
Masha: Wait. That's a superpower?
Siggy: They let Hawkeye in the Avengers, so…
Dr. J: So what's the lesson we've learned here?
[Stifled laughter.]
As I'm hanging on this rim? I think it's don't prematurely judge people and set your expectations high, because I bet you didn't think I could dunk. I’m all of 5’7”. Right? Right?
Masha: Yeah, that's- that's accurate.
Eric: That’s- yeah.
Lily: That is correct.
Dr. J: But I did. I dunked. And it's my job to help you dunk—
[Feet tap on stone as Dr. J lets go of the frame and lands.]
—on this mission. Come on, let's all get…
[Beat.]
Oh. Is it not time yet?
[Stifled laughter turns into full blown laughter.]
Masha: So wait is that—
Colton: Hop in the van, kids!
Sage: No, there’s actually- there's a zipline from the Griffith balcony—
[Laughter.]
—that goes down into the city.
Dr. J: Now come on! Let's go check out the zipline!
Roach: [distant] Good luck on your first mission!
[Adventure music.]
Dr. J: Did you ever go to summer camp or to the rain forest of any kind?
Masha: Uh…
Dr. J: Oh, this is fun. You're gonna— People pay for zip tours. You've never been?
Masha: I've never been, no.
Dr. J: Try to enjoy the scenery.
Masha: Okay.
Dr. J: But also we have to use this for utility. We have to get down the hill.
Masha: Okay.
Dr. J: Okay? But, yeah. I will give you a little tour as we go.
[Dr. J turns away and grabs onto a zipline handlebar.]
Masha: Alright!
Eric: We’re taking a zipline to the city?
Dr. J: Yeah. Right down, uh, we’ll get right to Vermont Avenue from, uh—
[Eric scoffs.]
—from the observatory.
Masha: Wow, that's really convenient, because honestly, it's a- it's a hike.
Dr. J: Yes. Yeah, that's why we built it.
[Everyone laughs.]
Sage: Alright and following suit, Dr. J gets up on the zipline. I'm not gonna make you roll for it. Perfect form, swings on down to Vermont Avenue and lands, and you hear him shouting at the top of his lungs. It's very, very faint, but to get your attention.
Dr. J: [distant] Yip! This way! Yip!
[Stifled laughter.]
Sage: And one by one our three heroes, Masha, Eric, and Lily, are gonna go down the zipline.
Masha: Alright, I-I guess I…I’ll…
[Lily groans.]
I mean, does anyone want to go first? I'll go first.
Eric: Yeah, you go ahead.
Lily: [unenthused] Yeah, go for it.
Masha: Test- test it out. Alright. Gonna…
Sage: Alright, Masha.
[Stat test chime.]
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
I'm gonna have you—
Jessica: Crap.
Sage: —roll for Personal Time.
[Dice roll on table.]
Jessica: Oh!
[Success chime.]
Yeah, I got it right.
Sage: Great. Have fun. [chuckles]
Masha: Bye, guys! Whooo!
[Zipline whirs as Masha swings down, her cheer fading.]
Sage: Next up.
Lily: [unenthused] You- you wanna- you wanna go or you- you want me to go?
Eric: I mean do you- are you good? Do you like…help with it?
Lily: Ladies first.
Eric: Okay, child.
Masha: [distant] Someone go!
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Eric: [yells] Coming!
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Eric, roll for Time.
[Dice roll on table.]
[Success chime.]
Travis: Did it.
Sage: Great.
[Stifled laughter.]
Travis: As much as I could.
Sage: Have fun.
Eric: Alright, it’s a zipline.
[Zipline whirs.]
Lily: Bye.
Eric: Bye.
Sage: And Eric lands, and last we have Lily rolling for Time. Once again, how’re your acrobatics, how is your focus? How is your form?
[Dice roll on table.]
[Net chime.]
Emily: 3.
Sage: Which is your number?
Emily: Yeah.
Sage: [tsks] Alright, Lily hops on. She feels good about it.
Lily: [sighs] Okay, here we go.
Sage: Jumps on. This is kind of a very, very [chuckles] sketchy zipline. They don't have harnesses, they don’t have any safety measures of any kind. It's pretty much just the pole that you hold on to and you swing down a rope. It's bouncing, she's balancing.
Lily: This doesn't feel safe.
Sage: She leans to the right, she’s about to fall off.
Lily: Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!
Dr. J: [distant] Think positively!
Lily: Fuck you!
[Stifled laughter.]
Sage: And then she falls!
[Lily lets go too soon and hits the ground hard.]
Lily: Shit!
Masha: Lily!
Lily: Shit.
Sage: But luckily, she was right above Vermont Avenue, and just lands on her hip. It hurts, she’s got a scab.
Dr. J: Now, you see, it was the negative sh— You did some negative yelling, did you not? And now look, you've got a scab on your hip.
[Light, misadventure music.]
[Lily sighs.]
So, let's learn from that scab.
Lily: Masha, I need you to hold my hand so I don't karate chop this man in the neck with it.
Masha: I, uh, think that’s a great idea!
Eric: I gotta be honest I think I side with Dr. J, here. Think, uh, if we all, uh, maybe took this in a little more positive bent, we’d all…
Masha: I did- I did fine. So I would say you’re on to something, Dr. J. Uh, Lily’s doing great, though. Lily, you’re doing fabulous. I will hold your hand.
[A light tap as Masha grabs Lily’s hand in support.]
Uh, the scab just adds to your aesthetic. So look at you!
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Lily, how are you doing? Let's roll for Personal Reality. [chuckles]
Emily: [chuckles] There's no way.
[Dice roll on table.]
[Failure chime.]
Nope.
Sage: Lily is pissed! [stifles laughter]
[Lily takes a deep breath and sighs.]
Sage: As a sixteen-year-old girl, and people are starting to tell her what to do, this is not a fun time.
Lily: Yeah, don't need parents. Thank you. Both of you. All of you, actually.
Masha: Do you- do you still want me to hold your hand?
Lily: Nope.
[Clothes rustle as Lily pulls away.]
Masha: Okay.
Lily: Don't even fuckin’ touch me. Thank you. Okay.
Masha: Sorry.
Dr. J: Okay, I'm gonna let you process that.
[Travis stifles laughter.]
Sage: And we proceed to the Port of Long Beach. It's a kinda long bus ride there.
[Everyone laughs.]
Special Thanks |
[Commercial jingle.]
Bart: Okay, and now a word from our sponsor.
[Tape rewinds.]
Josh Simpson: My idea is I want to be like a grief counselor or like a therapist. Someone to- [chuckles] that's helping the Marvel Universe after the terrible Snap. Someone that comes along for the ride to keep spirits up, or to work through emotions.
Sage: So you could be like the Fort's morale coach, like…
[Everyone chuckles.]
Josh: But also a counselor and a therapist, you know.
Sage: Yeah, yeah.
Travis: The on-site psychologist.
Sage: Yeah, exactly.
Emily: Oh, I kind of love that.
Sage: Yeah, that fits perfectly into… You have a split identity. Does your character not care about that as much or…?
Josh: Do you mean like, is he like a skate punk on his own time?
Sage: [amused] Sure.
Josh: And then he becomes, like, a counselor.
[Laughter.]
Emily: I’m not, like, a normal counselor. I’m a cool counselor.
[Tape fast-forwards.]
Sage: That was a snippet from our patron-exclusive episode with Josh, where we discuss a bit of his background, Marvel, and then build out Dr. J, stats and all. This and so much more, like, so much more—I think we’re at over 50 episodes now—are in the Adventure Pass podcast feed at
patreon.com/20sidedstories.
Speaking of which, thank you to…
Travis: Justin
Jessica: Joshua M
Sage: Dugan the Creator
Travis: Will Clark
Jessica: Ben Signpost
Sage: Hendo Bendo
Travis: Luis Gustavo
Jessica: Jacob Gomez
Sage: Kevin Hernandez
Travis: Fernanda
Jessica: That one Jake guy
Sage: Michael Etaneetu
Travis: Eric Johnson. That's not the guitar one right? No? Still cool.
Sage: And your good friend Zack.
Thank you all so, so much. If you didn't hear your name, you'll hear it on a future episode or it was in the last one.
If you wanna be cool like all those folks we just mentioned, get a shout out on the show, access to a bunch of bonus episodes of all kinds, and the warm fuzzy feeling of supporting independent artists, go to
patreon.com/20sidedstories
Alright. Let's get back to it.
First Job - Part II |
[Gentle guitar music.]
Dr. J: I do expect...you do have to—
[Josh stifles laughter.]
—Venmo me for the TAP card. Because it all came off my TAP card.
Masha: You guys don't cover for, like, transportation?
Dr. J: No, not for the first run.
Masha: Oh.
Dr. J: Mm-mmm.
Masha: Oh wow.
Dr. J: You’re kind of interns at this point.
Masha: Got it.
Dr. J: Um, so…
Eric: What— Do we— Is it like a pass/fail system?
Dr. J: Hey, no. No.
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
It's more like, just, uh…
Lily: Are you, like, judging us and then you’re gonna go back and tell them whether or not you think that we're good superheroes?
Dr. J: Hey, no judgment on my end. I just wanna see how you work as a unit, and I wanna help you reach new heights. Okay? So—
Masha: Okay, just a disclaimer like me and my sister, uh, we just met Eric. So like, we're working on our- our, uh, dynamic. So if it's, like, familiarity that you’re basing it on…
Dr. J: Okay. I sensed that. I sensed that Eric was not getting along.
Lily: Yeah, he internet-stalked us so he could find us.
Eric: What? That’s not—
Lily: Yeah.
Masha: You did kind of stalk us.
Dr. J: Hey, not all stalkers are bad, right?
[Travis stifles laughter.]
Masha: Have you had a good stalker?
Eric: Exactly!
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Dr. J: I mean, what is a security guard but a stalker that is also a friend. You know? They follow you around everywhere just to keep you safe. So, let's not put judgment on the word stalker.
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Masha: A part of me thinks that… I- I’m not gonna ask.
Dr. J: What?
Masha: Have you stalked someone before?
Dr. J: I'm stalking you a bit right now.
[Sage and Emily chuckle.]
Although from the front, ’cause you're following me.
Masha: Oh, okay. Okay.
Dr. J: And I know how to get to Long Beach.
Bus Driver: [over speaker] Final stop. Port of Long Beach. Please get off my bus.
Dr. J: You got it, Roger. Alright, right this way.
[Light-suspense music. Clattering is heard as shipment containers are moved around. Seagulls cry.]
Sage: And our three heroes—joined by Dr. J, the guidance counselor—walk towards this huge shipyard. You recognize, lit up, the Queen Mary is there permanently. The ship doesn't do anything anymore. It's a tourist attraction.
But beside the Queen Mary is a huge amount of shipment crates. I mean, a lot. I mean, they all look very big, but this is kind of intimidating. The closer you get to it, the more you realize this is a labyrinth. And there's a fence. You're not allowed inside. But there's a security guard [chuckles] at the fence and she's, uh, just on her phone.
[Footsteps tap on pavement as the group slowly approaches the gate.]
Dr. J: Who would like to, um, engage with the security guard? Who- who can—
Lily: I don't respect authority, so it probably shouldn't be me.
Masha: Do you not— Do you know her? Can- can you do it? Or…
Dr. J: Do I know the security guard?
Masha: Yeah.
Dr. J: Uh, absolutely not. I don't know what would give you that impression. I don’t—
[Travis stifles laughter.]
Masha: I don't know. I’m new to this!
Dr. J: You think I know everyone in this— It’s not a small town, it’s Los Angeles.
Eric: You knew the bus driver.
Masha: You knew Roger on the bus!
[Josh and Emily stifle laughter.]
Dr. J: Well, he's a bus driver, so I've seen him around. I’ve never tried to get into the shipyard.
Eric: I'll talk to her.
Dr. J: Great.
Guard: Hey! Who goes there?
[Footsteps scuff to a halt.]
Eric: Hi. Uh, we're here to do some routine maintenance on the Queen Mary and we need to get to where our tools are kept, which is inside the shipyard.
Guard: Wh-what qualifications do you have?
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Eric, roll for Personal Reality to see if you can deceive her.
[Dice roll on table.]
[Failure chime.]
Travis: [groans] Nope.
Sage: She ain't buying it.
Guard: You seem like you have a face that would lie.
Eric: ...Hurtful.
[Stifled laughter.]
Lily: True!
Guard: D’you— I need some kinda badges. Some’in’—
Eric: I gotta be honest, we- we usually pass in and outta here without much of a problem. Is this- is this your regular night? It's— You know, we don’t have any- any issues with, um. [tsks] What’s the other person who works this shift? Uh…
[Eric snaps his fingers, pretending to recall.]
Guard: Carl.
Masha: Carl!
Eric: Yeah, yeah. Ca—
Guard: [annoyed] Everyone likes Carl. You know, he has an old iPhone. He's not that cool.
Masha: [quiet] Oh...
Lily: Yeah, so here's- here's the thing, right? Like obviously, like, I’m, like, a sixteen-year-old girl, and have you heard of the, um, the Big Brother program? Where, like, underprivileged youth have an older, wiser man assigned to them to teach them a trade, is what I'm pretty sure that organization does.
Sage: Ooo, Lily let's roll for Personal Mind.
[Stat test chime.]
Is that what they do?
[Everyone laughs.]
Are you correct?
[Failure chime.]
Emily: Nope.
[Jessica chuckles.]
Sage: You're making all this up. Our security guard, let's call her…
Guard: Georgia.
Sage: It's Georgia.
Georgia: I call it bullshit. What brothers and sisters? [stammers] Who— What kind of company is that? You just have brothers and sisters.
Lily: It’s a non-profit!
Masha: We're, uh, we’re- we’re just starting up. Hi, uh, I-I'm, uh—
Georgia: Who’re you?
Masha: The older sister. I'm the big s- I am the big sister.
Georgia: Well, I'm confused now. Are you her real sister or, like, a company sister?
Lily: No, it’s like a metaphor—
Eric: [mumbles] Oh jeez.
Lily: —that they're trying to teach me how to be an adult.
Masha: Yeah, we're not related.
Georgia: Related shmelated. I need some badges. Or s—
Dr. J: What about badges of honor?
Georgia: You have a badge of honor?
Dr. J: All four of us do.
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Dr. J, can you please roll for Soul?
[Everyone laughs.]
That would be [chuckles]—
Josh: This one?
Sage: That is correct.
[Dice roll on table.]
[Success chime.]
Travis: Yup.
Sage: A hard success.
[Josh clears his throat.]
Dr. J: Hey, listen.
[Josh stifles laughter.]
[Gentle, inspiring music.]
You can sit here and ask for a laminated pass that any of us could make at a local Kinkos. Or you could take our word for it. This is my sister, and that's my sister, and that's my brother, and you are…my mom in a way.
[Travis stifles laughter.]
Because I'm asking you permission to come through to the shipyard so we can teach this young apprentice how to fix a ship.
Lily: Please.
Dr. J: Alright? And if you like I'll dunk a damn basketball, if that helps.
[Sage and Emily stifle laughter.]
Georgia: You know how to dunk a basketball?
Dr. J: I noticed you got a huffy portable hoop sitting right here.
Georgia: You- you know how to—
Dr. J: You throw the alley, I got oops all day.
Georgia: H-how tall are you, like 5’7”?
Dr. J: You nailed it.
[Action music builds.]
[Everyone laughs.]
Sage: Georgia hands Dr. J the basketball.
[Backpack zips open.]
Georgia: Happen to have this in my bag.
[A hollow thunk is heard as Georgia tosses the ball at Dr. J.]
Sage: I'm not gonna have you roll for that. We all know Dr. J's superpower is to always dunk 100% of the time.
[Emily laughs.]
Travis: What kind of dunk does Dr. J do?
Dr. J: I’ll do a windmill. Was hoping for an alley-oop, but it didn't seem like she was up for it.
[Everone laughs.]
Just handed me the basketball. Cross over, cross over.
[Shoes scuff and the basketball bounces as Dr. J shows off.]
I’ll close my eyes. Cover them. Dribble, dribble, dribble. From the free throw line. Windmill! Dunk! And now that I'm hanging on the rim.
[Basketball bounces away.]
Georgia: Wow.
Sage: Georgia is floored.
Georgia: That…[emotional] that was beautiful.
Dr. J: And you know what else is beautiful? Your soul, for hearing us and for letting us in.
Georgia: [gasps] Wow.
Dr. J: So let the lesson of the day be—
[He lets go of the rim, and his shoes scuff as he lands.]
—don't prejudge anyone. Okay?
Georgia: You all got a good brother…father figure here.
Masha: Yeah, it's amazing how handy dunking comes.
[Everyone chuckles.]
Georgia: Alright, alright, you got- y'all got- you impressed me. You all got fifteen minutes, you better make it quick.
[A lock clicks and a gate creaks open.]
Sage: She opens the gate and it is our three heroes’, joined by our guidance counselor, chance to investigate these shipment crates. They're huge. There's lots of them. It is a maze, but you're tryin’ to look for one in particular where there might be some shady figure. There might be something up. There may be something in there, maybe a certain sound.
Masha: Scent?
Sage: A certain scent. Improvise.
Dr. J: You guys almost blew it back there.
[Laughter.]
Masha: I know—
Dr. J: If I wasn’t here, you would’ve been screwed.
Masha: I-I was about to do something about it. You know? Like I could’ve— I was on— You interrupted me. So- so…
Dr. J: Okay.
Masha: But I really appreciate that you were able to help us.
Dr. J: No problem. But do better.
[Stifled laughter.]
Eric: A lot of us are more experienced with just sort of taking things or using force.
Dr. J: Sure.
Eric: Or- or not being— You know, and this one's twelve. So, it's…
Masha: She's sixteen.
Lily: I'm sorry, what was that, grandpa?
Eric: [quiet] Shut the fuck up.
[Travis stifles laughter.]
Dr. J: Alright. Well, we gotta find something suspicious in here. So…
Lily: Okay.
Dr. J: Follow your instincts.
[Lily sniffs hard.]
Masha: Lily do you wanna sniff somethin’ out? Oh. You’re- you're already doin’ it.
Sage: [amused] She smells cocaine.
Dr. J: Oopsy daisy.
Masha: What is it?
Dr. J: Oopsy daisy!
[Laughter.]
Got a little in my shirt pocket.
Sage: Then Lily takes another whiff.
[Stat test chime.]
Lily, can you roll for me full blue. Powerful Combat and Personal Space.
[Success chime.]
Emily: Made it for Space and 16 for Combat.
Sage: Excellent. The cocaine smell goes away.
Lily: [groans] Oh, Jesus Chr—
Dr. J: Yeah, don't smell cocaine too hard.
[Everyone chuckles.]
It's kind of the whole point.
[Mysterious, suspenseful music.]
Sage: And then she smells something…something she can't describe. It's almost intuitive in nature. It's something that doesn't have a name and she feels like she's the only person who could ever smell what this smells like. It's both the first time and the seventieth time she’s smelled this. She can't describe it, but she can follow it.
Lily: [sniffs] Oh, what is that? It's like a…[sniffs] It's- it's that- It’s that smell when you…when…[sighs] and then- and then…
Eric: What is it girl? Come on.
Masha: Let— She's getting— Shh! She’s getting’ into it.
Lily: Just- just let me follow it. I’ll just follow it, I’ll just follow it.
Sage: We go through this labyrinth of cargo boxes. There's so many of them. And eventually we find this green one.
Lily: It’s this one.
Masha: Wow.
Sage: But then there's some guy in front of it.
[Travis snorts.]
Lily: And he did not put on deodorant today.
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Sage: Some guy who doesn't smell great, and…he's wearing a trench coat.
Eric: [quiet] Shit.
Dr. J: Hey, don't prejudge. That's the whole lesson.
[Eric takes a deep breath.]
Eric: You haven't been wrong yet.
[Travis and Josh stifle laughter.]
Dr. J: Yeah? Well, I'm just saying just ’cause you see one guy in a trench coat, doesn't mean you should fear everyone in a trench coat. Okay? So, you know, just learn from that. And whatever you want to do for the trench coat guy.
Masha: Are you just gonna sit back and like—
Dr. J: Oh for this one, yeah.
[Laughter.]
Masha: O-okay.
Dr. J: Unless I see a basketball that needs to be dunked in there.
[Jessica chuckles.]
Trench Coat Guy: [quiet] You're all just standing there.
Eric: [loud] What's in the crate?
Trench Coat Guy: [quiet] Wouldn't you like to know?
Eric: Yes.
Lily: Who’re you?
Trench Coat Guy: [quiet] I can't tell you that.
Lily: Why?
Masha: Okay, I was told not to judge. You sound kind of creepy, but okay.
Trench Coat Guy: [quiet] Will you keep your voices down? Are you trying to get caught?
Masha: [whispers] No.
Eric: I mean, given the situation. I think we're trying to catch you?
Trench Coat Guy: Wait. What?
Masha: I'm sorry.
[Footsteps tap as she walks up.]
My name is Roulette.
Trench Coat Guy: Roulette?
Masha: Yes.
Trench Coat Guy: You one of those supers? One of those freaks?
Masha: I prefer super. But yes.
Trench Coat Guy: Super freak.
Dr. J: You don't say— Hey, we don't say “freak”. Okay?
Trench Coat Guy: Who are you?
Dr. J: I'm Dr. J.
Trench Coat Guy: Dr. J?
Dr. J: Yeah.
Trench Coat Guy: Are you one of those supers?
Dr. J: Um…
Trench Coat Guy: Are you a freak?
Dr. J: No one here’s a freak, and if you say it again, we're gonna have a problem. Okay?
Trench Coat Guy: You all look like a bunch of super freaks to me.
Dr. J: [gently] You look like a super dumb-ass—
[Stifled laughter.]
Masha: [quiet] Dr. J!
Dr. J: —’cause if you got something valuable in that cargo thing, why are you standing by that? You know what a giveaway that is? All these other ones—
[Josh takes a breath and fights back laughter.]
[still gentle] If you were smart, you should be sitting- standing by an empty one. But you're standing by the one that's got—
Trench Coat Guy: Shut up.
Dr. J: —stuff in it?
Trench Coat Guy: Shut up.
Dr. J: No, you're dumb.
Trench Coat Guy: [Sage stifles laughter] Shut up.
[Dr. J continues in the same calm tone.]
Dr. J: And I'm sorry that you saw me lash out like that.
Masha: Wow.
Dr. J: But I couldn't help it, and he called me a freak and I don't like it. Sorry.
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Sage: This weird man in a trench coat, pulls up his phone slowly. He's checking something. everybody's eyes are locked. He glances once down to the phone, and then back up to Eric. Cocks his head…and goes for a gun.
Travis: Fuck.
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Eric roll Powerful Combat.
Travis: Ooo. 6.
[Failure chime.]
Sage: Oh shit, [amused] Eric gets shot in the leg.
[Travis laughs.]
[A gunshot goes off. Masha screams. Eric grunts.]
Lily: Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
Masha: Dr. J!
Sage: He walks up to Eric.
[Eric pants in pain.]
Trench Coat Guy: It’s time. The end is near.
Eric: Stop saying that! Oh my god, you're sss— You and your friends, suck!
Masha: Alright, um, you know what? I'm done being nice.
Lily: Come on, Masha.
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Masha, you know what to do. You gotta roll your power.
Jessica: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[A buzzing crinkle is heard as Masha’s power activates.]
Healing! 16!
[Success chime.]
Sage: Great! Masha can quickly, using one of our six random powers, heals Eric's wound, just like that.
[A quiet, chiming squeal is heard as Masha’s powers are used. Trench Coat Guy grunts in confusion.]
Eric: Cool. Gimmie that!
[Eric grunts. A thud is heard as he grabs Trench Coat Guy.]
[Stat test chime.]
[Success chime.]
Travis: 14. That’s better.
Sage: Okay, great. Uh, he’s—
Travis: Arm bar!
[Sage chuckles.]
[Eric grunts. The swish and thuds of combat are heard as he fights Trench Coat Guy.]
Eric: No, no, no, you're going over my shoulder. Come here!
[Trench Coat Guy groans. A thud is heard as a punch lands. Masha groans in awe.]
Gimmie that gun.
[A gun clacks as Eric grabs it away.]
Sage: Eric barely gets the gun out of his hand.
Dr. J: Quick, throw the gun up towards that basketball hoop!
[Everyone stifles laughter.]
Eric: Not the time!
Dr. J: Okay, I- it could be cool.
[Jessica chuckles.]
Trench Coat Guy: [groans] You don’t know what you're getting into.
Eric: Honestly, I—
Trench Coat Guy: Scry.
Eric: Shhhh. Who are you? What's in the fucking crate?
Trench Coat Guy: The end is near, Scry.
Eric: Oh my god. I'm gonna break your arm, dude. Don't—
[A sickening crunch is heard. Trench Coat Guy screams in pain.]
Sorry, I got upset.
[Everyone chuckles.]
Dr. J: Okay, so let's talk a little bit about retaliation. Alright? He shot you in the leg.
Eric: [quiet] Huh?
Dr. J: That was healed. And then you broke his arm. I feel like he was gonna— You know, torture rarely works.
Lily: You wanna hold and I'll punch?
[Josh stifles laughter.]
Dr. J: Oh, okay. They’re gonna go for this.
[Jessica chuckles.]
[Multiple thuds are heard. Lily grunts as she punches him. Trench Coat Guy cries out in pain throughout.]
This is where the—
Trench Coat Guy: Ah, ow! No, stop it! Ow, cut it out! Cut it out!
[Stat test chime.]
Sage: Lily, can you roll for Powerful Strength?
[Dice roll on table.]
[Failure chime.]
Emily: 4!
[Stifled laughter.]
Sage: Just like lightly slapping him basically.
[Jessica laughs.]
[Light slaps.]
Trench Coat Guy: Can you fucking cut it out, please? What the hell is wrong with you?
Lily: [whispers] You’re a bitch!
[Emily stifles laughter.]
Trench Coat Guy: Ow, stop it. Jesus. Look, Scry. I can't tell you anything because they're going to kill me no matter what.
Eric: That- that doesn't mean you can't tell me anything. You can totally tell me something.
Trench Coat Guy: Not unless you…
Sage: Roll Soul.
[Stat test chime.]
Personal Soul.
[Travis snorts.]
[Failure chime.]
Travis: No.
Sage: I'll roll for him.
[Net chime.]
Perfectly balanced as all things should be. You have the gun held away from him, but he brings his arm closer in. It hurts. You're trying to hold him back.
[Eric and Trench Coat Guy grunt in exertion.]
Eric: [groans] What’re you—
Sage: He fires.
[A gunshot and wet splatters are heard. A body collapses with a thud.]
Masha: Oh. My…
Lily: [quiet] Holy shhhhit.
Eric: Just so everyone's clear...
Sage: The trench coat man shot himself in the head and fell to the floor.
Dr. J: Hmm. If only that gun was through a basketball hoop and not in his hand.
[Stifled laughter.]
Masha: Oh my god.
Dr. J: Well, I'm just saying look where we are now. I could have dunked it into that cargo—
Masha: [frantic] Eric, why didn’t you dump it into the cargo?
Eric: Because it was a gun!
[Travis and Josh stifle laughter.]
Masha: Oh my god.
Eric: Not a basketball!
Dr. J: I can dunk anything.
Masha: I've never seen a dead corpse before.
[Masha heaves and vomit splashes.]
Lily: He literally killed someone in an alleyway yesterday.
Masha: But not someone who shot themselves! It's different!
Dr. J: So, let's take a look at the corpse and let's all talk about how we feel about it. Alright?
[Travis stifles laughter.]
[Masha moans pitifully. Lily takes a deep breath and sighs.]
Death sneaks up on us. We didn't expect this man to blow his brains out but he did.
Lily: Ugh. Smells like blood in here.
Dr. J: You seem to be the most troubled, Masha. So tell me what you're feeling right now.
Masha: [nervous] Um, depressed and really scared. And he's just still bleeding. It's just constant blood.
Eric: It’s not gonna stop for a while.
Dr. J: The blood probably won't stop. Yeah.
Sage: Since Lily was smelling, she smells metal on him.
Lily: There’s metal…something.
Dr. J: Prob’ly iron. It's blood.
Lily: [sighs, falsely sweet] Thanks. I think I know what blood smells like at this point.
Dr. J: Oh! Okay, so you're lashing out because you're upset about the body as well. I understand that.
[Footsteps scuff as he moves closer to Lily. Lily sniffs a few times.]
I'm here. Go ahead, tell me what you’re feeling.
Sage: She finds a key chain. There’s one key on.
Lily: Hey, does this look relevant to our search?
Dr. J: “God didn’t have a driver's license, so he invented mom's.” What the hell is that keychain?
[Everyone stifles laughter. Travis bursts into laughter.]
Sage: Lily, who is just done with everyone’s shit, opens the door to this cargo box.
Eric: These guys are freaks.
[Lily grunts and a metal door creaks open.]
Sage: It’s a big-ass metal box. There are no lights inside, it is pitch black. And it looks like there's basically nothing in there. It's almost empty. But then Lily gets that scent again.
Lily: That smell…
Sage: One she kind of recognizes.
Lily: It- it's something I know. I can’t…
Sage: And then all of a sudden—
[A loud clang and creaking.]
A vision. A shape glowing green. So incandescently bright it's hurting your eyes.
[Everyone’s voices sound muffled and warbled.]
Lily: Wha- what?
Masha: What is it, Lily?
Lily: Oh god can you see that?
Masha: I don’t see anything.
Sage: And then she snaps back out of it.
[Sound returns to normal.]
Lily: [slow] Holy fuck, I think I'm crazy.
[The crew slowly walks inside the container.]
Sage: We look and lying on the floor of this container is a single syringe with barely anything in it.
Dr. J: Oh, that's too bad.
Lily: Wait.
Dr. J: This is just a junkie’s thing. You know what? He guarded the right thing and I insulted him and then he shot himself, and now I feel bad.
[Jessica and Travis stifle laughter.]
Lily: No, no, no, no.
Dr. J: There’s nothing in here.
Masha: What is it, Lily?
Dr. J: Hey, don't play with needles you find in the thing.
[Stifled laughter.]
[A footstep taps as Lily turns around quickly. A loud snick is heard and Dr. J cries out.]
Masha: Oh my god, Lily! Don't do that!
Eric: Holy shit. Calm down.
Dr. J: She poked me with it!
Masha: Oh my…
[Jessica stifles laughter.]
Lily! You actually poked him?
Sage: [stifles laughter] Oh my god. Did you- did you actually poke him with it?
Eric: Yes! Oh my god.
Dr. J: She poked me with the need…
Sage: Oh my god.
[Dr. J groans. The crew shuffles out of the container.]
Lily: I’m so sorry! That was an accident! Oh my god!
Sage: Dr. J starts turning green.
[Everyone stifles laughter.]
[Dr. J's flesh squelches as it mutates.]
Dr. J: Oh, this is…hey!
Sage: Then falls over and dies! [laughs]
[A thud is heard as Dr. J collapses.]
[Josh laughs.]
Masha: Dr. J! AHH!
[Josh continues laughing in the background.]
Oh my god!
Lily: Oh my god, it was so dark in here I had no depth perception!
Sage: [amused] With his final- with his final breath, he speaks out.
[Music.]
Dr. J: You're a brat.
[Stifled laughter.]
You shouldn't have done that. Okay? I’m sick o’ tossing dice.
Lily: I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! This was so much an accident!
Dr. J: You guys are maniacs. I could have dunked the gun and saved the day. And you quit playing around with a junkie’s old needle. Now I'm dead. I'm green and dead. So you know what? You fail. You fail HR, you're not superheroes in the report.
[Dr. J death gurgles and collapses.]
Masha: But…
Sage: Joel Ferris has passed away. And he lies right next to the other guy who shot himself in the head for some reason.
Masha: [whispers] What…the…?
Lily: [quiet, shock] Oh my god. I just killed someone.
[Beat.]
[Footsteps scuff on pavement.]
Georgia: Hey, your fifteen minutes are up. What’re you all still doin’ here?
[Laughter.]
[Sad music. Crickets chirp. Footsteps tap as the group walks back to the Fort.]
Eric: Okay, look at me, look at me, look at me. That didn’t happen.
Lily: What? What are we—
Eric: There was a struggle for the gun. He shot Dr. J. I took the gun, and got him in the head.
Masha: We should’ve brought his body with us, though. It's wrong to leave him there. Just—
Eric: We buried him at sea!
Door Guy: What's the password?
Eric: Huh?
Masha: AHH!
[Lily lets out a startled gasp.]
Lily: Do we get a card for today? Doesn't it change every day?
Masha: You don't remember us? We came in the other day.
Door Guy: I see a lot o’ faces, honey.
Masha: I was the one that destroyed that, like, iron lady! I—
Door Guy: Who’s got the password?
Masha: Um…Dick.
[Beat.]
Door Guy: Alright, you’re in.
[Sage stifles laughter.]
Masha: Great. Lucky guess, I guess.
Sage: He cranks open the garage door.
[Door Guy makes “Chch” noises as he cranks.]
[amused] I'll do the sound effects in post, David, thank you very much.
[Everyone chuckles.]
Door Guy: But I’m the door guy! I like making the noise while I do it.
Sage: [speaks through teeth] Dave I’ll do the sound effects in post—
[Door Guy makes more “Chch” noises.]
[Stifled laughter.]
Masha: Why’re you making that noise with your mouth?
Door Guy: It's a coping mechanism—
[Josh chuckles.]
—with some serious mental problems. Just let me be, please, I'm living my best life!
Masha: O-okay.
Sage: When the door is almost at the top and open, he mentions to them…
[Footsteps tap as the group walks inside. Suspenseful music.]
Door Guy: Roach has been expecting you. He's worried.
Eric: [quiet] Right. Lily?
[Lily grunts quietly.]
[quiet] You didn't do that. There was a struggle for the gun, he shot Dr. J—
[Lily mumbles unhappily.]
—I wrestled it away from him, and I shot him the h—
Roach: Oh! You guys are here! Gift Bag! Gift Bag! Get up here!
[Roach runs up to the group.]
Theo: Yeah. Hold on! Hol…
Roach: Where have you guys been?
Masha: Uh…
Lily: [fast] Long Beach!
Theo: Oh, hi!
Masha: [forced cheerful] Hey!
Roach: We have been waiting all night. [fast] I was so worried! You guys got the newbie job and you didn't come back ’til three in the morning? Sometimes they take a little longer but—
Eric: Roach. Roach. We were am—
Roach: Where's D- where's Dr. J?
Eric: We were- that's- we were ambushed.
Roach: Ambushed?
Eric: Yeah. [sighs] There was a lot of ’em. They came from everywhere.
[Eric sighs quietly.]
[whispers] Fuck. [tearful] They shot Dr. J.
Theo: [forced sad] Oh, no.
Roach: They shot J?
Eric: Yeah. We were just—
Theo: [forced sad] Oh, not Dr. J.
Roach: [quiet] Shit.
Eric: He was tryin’ to get us into the gate—
Theo: [forced sad] Oh.
Roach: [quiet] Shit.
Eric: —by doin’ a windmill. They shot him mid-dunk.
Roach: [quiet] Shit.
Masha: Theo, are you actually upset? You seem…
Theo: [forced sad] So upset. Dr- he’s- it’s— Real loss for the Fort today.
Lily: [quiet] It was an accident.
Eric: It was murder. They murdered him.
Lily: Yeah, but we—
Masha: [loud] Oh, murder’s a strong word! I think it’s like—
Door Guy: Hold on, was it a murder or was it an accident?
Roach: Door- Door Guy, can you—
[Josh laughs. Jessica stifles laughter.]
Mind your own business, Door Guy.
Masha: Live your best life by the gate.
[Door Guy grunts. Footsteps fade away.]
Roach: Did you at least come back with anything of use?
Lily: [quiet] I mean…it’s in my backpack.
[Suspenseful music intensifies.]
Eric: [quiet] Yeah.
[Lily sighs. A backpack zips open. Wrapper crinkles.]
Lily: Be careful, please.
Theo: [quiet] Hold on. [normal] Yeah, I got it.
Roach: Gift Bag, Gift Bag, you take it. You take it.
Theo: Yeah. Yeah, oh! Okay. Okay! Um, can you all follow me, please?
[Episode End music.]
Credits |
[Episode End music throughout.]
Mayanna Berrin: 20 Sided Stories is produced by Sage G.C., Jessica Dahlgren, and Travis Reaves
Masha Mirova was played by Jessica Dahlgren
Eric Stanton was played by Travis Reaves
Lily Kline was played by Emily Ervolina
Joel Ferris, aka Dr. J, was played by special guest Josh Simpson.
Guest Spotlight |
Sage: Alright, we did it. Episode Two is in the bag!
Josh: Hooray!
Travis: Hooray!
Jessica: Whoo!
Sage: Josh, holy shit, man. Thank you so much for doing this, though, so much fun.
Josh: That was fun.
Emily: I’m so sorry.
Josh: I had a blast.
Travis: You hold the record for most points scored in an episode.
[Everyone chuckles.]
Sage: So, where can the people find you? Where can our listeners go to view your awesome stuff?
Josh: A lot of my stuff is on JoshSimpson.biz Improv workshops and stuff I teach in LA and you can get a hold of me if you ever want to let me come visit you in your city to teach and perform or whatever. The Meat improv is on all the social stuff.
patreon.com/meatimprov is where you can get a second bonus episode every week. And then @MrJoshSimpson on Twitter, JoshSimpson on Instagram. That cover it?
Sage: Amazing!
Travis: Josh, will you bet me right now, $20 that at Giannis doesn't back-to-back MVP.
Josh: I think he will. Yeah.
Travis: Alright. It's on.
Josh: Alright.
[Chuckling.]
Sage: And this is now a basketball show. Thank you so much, everybody!
After-Credits Scene |
[A door bangs shut.]
Mysterious Man: Status?
Lackey: The shipment has been compromised. And it looks like Scry was the perpetrator.
Mysterious Man: Then no longer can he rest.
Credits |
[Rock music plays throughout.]
Mayanna Berrin: Additional Voices by David Michmerhuizen, Chad Ellis, Kaitlyn Cornell, and M. Colton Brodeur.
Music, Editing and Sound Design by Sage G.C.
Character Artwork by Rhea Lonsdale
Episode Artwork by Josh Wolf
Special thanks to Greg Reasoner, Matt Johnston and all our Patreon Supporters
Podcast Directed by Sage G.C.
You can get the soundtrack to this series for free at
sagegc.com/music
Follow 20 Sided Stories on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook @20SidedStories
Or visit our website at 20sidedstories.com
[Episode End music crescendos and fades out.]
Extras |
Indie Hero: Hey! Chaperone! You got eyes in the back o’ yer head!
Eric: [irked] Uh-huh. Thank you.
Indie Hero: Chaperone, Chaperone! I wish I had you in high school!
Eric: Nope, yup. Nope. That’s not— Appreciate it. That’s not—
Hype Man: [distant] Chaperone!
Eric: That’s not my fucking name!