20 Sided Stories

Adventure Pass

MARVEL - Masha Mirova (Prologue)

Air Date: January 8, 2020

Sage G.C.: The following podcast has absolutely no affiliation with Marvel Studios, Marvel Entertainment, the Walt Disney Company, or any other associates or official canon. This is a fan-made parody piece created in fair use, and all mentioned names, trademarks, and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

[Podcast Intro music plays.]

Jessica Dahlgren: Thank you and welcome to 20 Sided Stories.

[Intro fades out.]

MARVEL

Masha Mirova (Prologue)

[Gentle music.]

Sage: Character prologue two of three.

Masha Mirova. Currently seventeen years old, about to graduate high school and move on to college life and adulthood.

Masha was born in Russia and adopted by the Klines at a very young age. She’s an all-star student, but a little anxious due to a secret she’s had for as long as she can remember.

Six superpowers, all entirely different, but she could only use one at a time, and which one is totally random.

Her sister, Lily, thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world, but until Masha learns to control these powers, she’s very hesitant to embrace or use them.

Masha is home, it’s the early afternoon, and she’s expecting a phone call. One that can completely change the course of her life.

[Suspenseful music.]

[Phone rings. Masha gasps.]

Masha: Oh, wait. [clears throat] Oh my gosh.

[Phone beeps as she answers.]

Hello?

Man: [over phone] Hello?

Masha: H-hi!

Man: Am I speaking to Masha Mirova?

Masha: That is me. That is I [nervous chuckle].

Man: Hello, Masha.

Masha: Hello!

Man: Mirova. If I’m not mistaken, that’s Russian in origin.

Masha: Yes.

Man: Excellent. Now, that is actually going to be my first question. We just wanted to get this, uh, outta the way, ’cause we’re—

Masha: I’m sorry, who is this?

Man: Oh! Great question.

[Jessica stifles laughter.]

I’ll give you a little star right here.

[Sage stifles laughter.]

Masha: Thank you.

Man: My name is Richard.

Masha: Hi, Richard! Do you have a—

[Sage stifles laughter.]

—title, or a last name or… Now I’m kinda worried.

Richard: [over phone] My name is Richard Dickens.

Masha: Richard Dickens.

Richard: [Sage chuckles] Correct.

[Jessica stifles laughter.]

I’m just here to interview you. I’m a recruiter. I’m overseeing the vetting process in the September Foundation.

Masha: [gasps] Oh, yes!

[Music becomes hopeful.]

Richard: From Stark Industries for young prodigies.

Masha: Yes, yes, yes.

Richard: Yes. We’ve done some email exchanges, um, talked to your parents and whatnot, so now we’re at the phone interview, and if this goes well, we’ll, uh, send you an email or a letter of some kind, and move on to further steps. Eventually that’s the onsite interview, there might be a couple of those.

Masha: Oh, wow, yeah.

Richard: [over phone] Yeah. And then we’ll rope you in if everything’s great.

Masha: Oh my gosh, okay. Yeah, well, I-I’m just at home right now, so I have all the time for this, uh, phone interview.

Richard: Get outta school today? You had school today, right? It’s a weekday.

Masha: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no. I-I do, like, a work study program, so I get outta school a little bit earlier than others, um, so…

Richard: Excellent. Excellent.

Masha: Yeah.

Richard: That is splendid. Now, I just had a couple of questions here.

Masha: Okay.

Richard: Firstly, I just wanted to make sure, ’cause it was a little unclear. Do you require any sort of visa or permit to work in the United States?

Masha: Um—

Richard: Or any sort of sponsorship?

Masha: N—

Richard: Are you a legal U.S. citizen?

Masha: Y- I- I am a legal U.S. citizen. I recently, uh, couple years ago, got my legal citizenship. I- I was a part of the foster care system when I was young, and then my parents adopted me a little over ten years ago, and, uh, ever since then we’ve been in the process of getting my citizenship.

All this to say, yes! I am an American citizen.

Richard: Good to know. So, uh, it says here you have two sisters.

Masha: Yes, I do. Uh, Lily and Rose.

Richard: Ah, tell me about them.

Masha: Uh, well, Lily—

Richard: You are the oldest, correct?

Masha: I am the oldest. Uh, Lily is the second oldest. She’s in eighth grade right now. Um, she’s very spunky and, em, she’s, like, a force to be reckoned with. And Rose is the cutest girl in the world. Um—

Richard: How old is Rose?

Masha: Um, Rose just turned seven.

Richard: Adorable.

Masha: Yeah. She’s—

Richard: She at school right now? She- she just got out?

Masha: Yes. She’s wicked smart. Her and Lily should be home soon.

Richard: [over phone] And they probably both look up to you quite a bit, don’t they?

Masha: Yeah. [nervous laugh] Yeah. I hope that I can be a good role model to them.

Richard: Moving on…

Masha: Okay.

Richard: What are your strengths?

Masha: Oh. Um, I work like a maniac. Um, like a good maniac! I’m not crazy—

Richard: What are your weaknesses?

Masha: Um, I can be sometimes a little, like, nervous, like right now. Sorry. To be honest, I’m a little nervous, but you know, it’s just—

Richard: Why should the September Foundation consider you over any other candidate? We do hand out, of course, multiple scholarships.

Masha: Right.

Richard: What d’you think makes you stand out?

Masha: I think I have very pure and good i-intentions in what I wanna do, and I a—

Richard: Do you have any relatives, maybe friends, family of any other employees that could refer you inside the system? ’Cause that’s something I didn’t notice on your application, was any sort of referral from anybody in Stark.

Masha: Well…well, my parents are, um, my mom teaches third grade, and my dad he just works at, like, an office for a company. So, um… We’re- we’re a very, like—

Richard: So that’s a no, then?

Masha: What was that?

Richard: That’s a no, then?

Masha: Um. N-no. I don’t- I don’t have any—

Richard: You don’t have any referrals?

Masha: Referrals, like, within Stark Industries?

Richard: Yeah, anybody that you could call upon. Anybody that even you, uh, know of.

Masha: Uh, well, I know Pepper Potts. Not person—

Richard: You know Pepper Potts personally?

Masha: [fast] No, no, no, no. But you said I—

Richard: Okay, great. Good to know, um.

Masha: Okay. [nervous chuckle]

Richard: What would be your ideal institution? Where is this money going?

Masha: Maybe, like, Stanford or, um, maybe Brown. I hope that one day I could also work for Stark Industries, because I feel like I’d be a really good asset, and I think—

Richard: [over phone] Okay, great. How do you handle people that annoy you?

Masha: Um, I treat people with kindness.

[Beat.]

I try to.

[Beat.]

Richard: Mmm, ’kay. And do you have any techniques, or tools maybe, to keep yourself organized?

Masha: I do a lot of, um, guided meditations, and I like to jog in the morning occasionally. I should do it more than I do, but, uh, I feel like that helps my mind stay more focused.

Richard: And which mark of the Iron Man suit was your favorite?

Masha: I…liked the newest one. Because—

Richard: And which mark was that?

Masha: [nervous chuckle] It’s slipping my mind right now. [nervous chuckle] It’s funny.

[Richard’s scoff of feigned amusement comes clearly over the phone.]

Richard: Oh. Is it- is it really?

Masha: Um, yeah.

[Clothes rustle as Masha moves her phone to look at it. She searches the Internet quickly.]

Let me…uh. I’m sorry. I think you might be, uh, cutting out. Um, uh—

Richard: That’s okay, we’ll just move on to the next question.

Masha: I- I really like the—

[Search result pings.]

—Iron Herald armor.

[Beat.]

Richard: Uh, that doesn’t exist. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Masha: Um, no [nervous chuckle] I’m just kidding.

[Sage stifles laughter.]

[Fingers tap quickly on phone.]

Um. I really like, um—

Richard: [over phone] Nah, it’s okay. Next question.

Masha: No, no, no. I mean—

[Sage stifles laughter.]

[Masha chuckles nervously.]

[Stat test chime.]

Sage: Masha, can you go ahead and roll me Personal Soul and Personal Reality. To see how well this interview went. How is [amused] Richard Dickens taking it?

Jessica: So, I’m rolling Soul first.

[Dice roll on table.]

[Success chime.]

It’s a hard yes.

Sage: Great.

Jessica: Reality….

[Dice roll on table.]

[Failure chime.]

A no.

Sage: Hmm.

Richard: [over phone] So what are you planning on majoring in? It says here “undeclared”.

Masha: Um, yes. Uh, right now I’m undeclared, just because there are several different fields that I feel like I could be good in. Whether that be, uh, engineering for one, um, since I did really well in my engineering academy. Uh, but also poli sci really interests me, um, um, philan—

Richard: You know this is just a fun little question, just something we like to ask at the end here. Uh, if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Masha: [nervous laughter] Wow. Um, just one superpower?

Richard: [amused] Just- just one. Just one.

Masha: [nervous] Yeah…

Richard: I know sometimes people think of six different ideas, but just one.

Masha: If I just had one superpower, I guess, um, it would be to heal.

Richard: Healing powers? Like regenerative stuff?

Masha: Regenerative powers, yeah. So, um, I think that a lot of people have superpowers that are very disruptive, so if I had a power, I would like to have healing, because then I could heal people of cancer, I could heal people who have in some- any other kind of illness, I could heal- even infrastructures and buildings if there was some kind of disaster.

Richard: D’you have any secrets?

[Beat.]

Masha: [nervous chuckle] Well.

[Beat.]

Um. N—

[Beat.]

Richard: [amused] I’m just messing with you.

[Masha laughs nervously.]

Ah, just a trick question. Love to throw the little fun ones in there, and that’s so fun.

Masha: Mr. Dickens, that’s really funny.

Richard: But really, if you had any secrets, we would need to know.

[Masha chuckles nervously.]

Just letting you know.

Masha: Okay. Yeah. [chuckles nervously]

Richard: Alright, Masha, uh, think I got everything on—

[The Snap echoes.]

Hmm.

Masha: Yeah?

[Ash rustles.]

Richard: Well… Okay.

[Ash rustles.]

Hold on.

[Ash scatters and the phone clatters to the floor.]

Masha: Mr. Dickens?

[Beat.]

[nervous chuckle] Is this another joke? [nervous chuckle] Hahaha.

[Phone disconnect tone.]

Hello?

Sage: Masha hears the sound of screaming and chaos coming from outside her home. She looks out the window.

[Muffled screaming in the street outside. Feet pad across carpet and a window blind is pulled up.]

Masha: [quiet] Oh my god.

Sage: There’s ash flying through the sky. The sounds of yelling, concerned screaming, people confused.

Masha: Oh my go— I’m just gonna call my parents. Um.

[Phone beeps as she dials.]

Mom.

[Phone rings.]

[nervous sigh] It’s calling, it’s ringing, it’s ringing. Okay, okay.

Sage: There’s no answer.

Voice Mail: Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [beep]

Masha: Hey, Mom, um, yeah. Uh… Just [nervous chuckle] Uh, just wanted to check you’re okay. I heard a lotta screaming outside, and there’s ash, so um, just call me back whenever you get this. Everything’s fine at home, I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna call Dad. Um. [quiet] Okay, fuck. Um…

Sage: And then there’s a knock on the door.

Masha: …Um. O-one second! Um… Shit.

[Feet tap across carpet as she heads to the door.]

Man: [muffled] Help! Help! Please!

Masha: Okay, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming! Who is it?

[Door creaks open.]

Hello?

Man: It’s me.

Masha: I d- I don’t know who “me” is. I’m a—

Roger: Roger!

Masha: Roger?

Roger: I’m your neighbor!

Masha: Oh, Mist—

Roger: From across the street?

Masha: Oh, Mr. Henderson!

Roger: I give you butter all the time—

Masha: Mr. Henderson, I’m—

Roger: —and you forget my name?

Masha: No! I’m so sorry! I just call you Mr. Henderson—

Roger: Do you see what is happening right now?

Masha: Is there a fire?

Roger: Yes! Look at my house!

[Distant fire crackles.]

[Jessica stifles laughter.]

Masha: Oh my god, Mr. Henderson! Okay, well—

Roger: My wife, Mrs. Henderson, she was cooking potatoes! And then she disappeared! [Sage stifles laughter] And she dropped the pan. And before I knew it the whole house was burst into flames!

Masha: Uh, well, have you call the am- like, 911? You should—

Roger: Yeah, they didn’t answer!

Masha: Wh- oh my god!

Roger: 911 didn’t answer!

Masha: Um…

Roger: This is madness!

Masha: I- [frantic] What d’you want me to do? I’m seventeen!

Roger: [frantic] I don’t know!

Masha: I wish I could help you! I don’t know what else to do! I’m tryin’ to call my parents, my- I [takes a breath] Um, have you heard from my dad?

Roger: No!

Masha: Okay, hold on. I’m gonna turn on the news, okay? Maybe there’s something going on.

Roger: [loud] The n- why d’you need to watch tv right now?

Masha: I ju—

Roger: This is a crisis!

Masha: I’m not gonna watch tv! I just- if 911’s not answering and no one’s answering, I gotta turn on the news, Mr. Henderson. I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to yell. This is really—

Roger: Where’s Iron Man when you need him?

Masha: [quiet] I don’t know.

Roger: Where’s the Hulk? Where’s f- that f- lighting god?

Masha: Thor?

Roger: You know ’im?

Masha: I know of him.

Roger: All the damn heroes are all the way on the east coast. I bet those New York folks would help us, but we don’t have anyone here!

Masha: Okay, um—

[Shoes tap on pavement as Roger Henderson walks away. Distant fire crackles.]

Roger: The end! This is the end of all things! [cries] My wife.

Masha: Mr. Henderson, where are you going?

Roger: [cries] I don’t know.

Masha: [calls out] What about Whiskers?

Roger: [sobs] It’s all doomed! [distant, yells] Where are the heroes when you need them?

Masha: [yells] Okay! I get it!

[She steps outside and slams the door. Action music.]

Masha… Masha. Okay. Try to do something. Just try to do something. [burps] Got that out. Oof.

Sage: The fire is spreading.

Masha: [nervous] Oh my god, oh my god, okay.

Sage: It’ll reach the other neighbor’s homes if she doesn’t act now.

Masha: [nervous] Okay, I’m gonna act now!

[A buzzing crinkle is heard as Masha’s power activates.]

Jessica: Reflexes?

[Sage stifles laughter. Jessica chuckles.]

Sage: And how good are these reflexes?

[Stat test chime.]

Jessica: Um. It’s 11 [chuckle].

Sage: A single piece of wood falls! And she does a bunch of flips and jumps and dodges it, barely.

[Masha grunts as she moves around.]

She tries to conjure up some more energy. Maybe she can try again. There are five other possibilities here.

Masha: [sighs] Okay. Alright. God, I hope nobody sees me. I’m gonna hide behind this bush. [whispers] Okay, come on, come on, Masha. Masha, Masha.

[Buzzing crinkle.]

Masha: [whispers] Healing!

Sage: Masha focuses in.

Masha: [whispers] Okay.

Sage: One of her six superpowers.

Masha: [sighs, whispers] Secret superpowers.

Sage: Is to heal matter. If she can focus in on it, depending on how she can conjure up the strength.

[Stat test chime.]

Jessica: 18.

[Success chime.]

Sage: She can heal anything. With an 18, she takes a deep breath and uses her healing power.

[Masha inhales deeply and slowly releases it. Her healing powers chime and she grunts with the exertion.]

Masha: [whispers] Is it working?

Sage: There’s a catch though. While her healing power can restore matter, [amused] it can’t extinguish fire. So she watches this structure, as it’s crumbling, rebuild! It’s a brand new house! Fully remodeled, it looks perfect! The wood and the metal has been restored. [amused] But the fire is still there.

[Fire whooshes.]

Masha: [nervous] I have nothing. Alright, you know what? Maybe- maybe I’ll try— [whispers] Okay, take a deep breath. Try one more time. Maybe if I have enough power I can break that fire hydrant…and the water will just help or something like that. [worried] Alright. Here I go. Come on, Masha. Come on, you just rebuilt his house!

[Buzzing crinkle.]

Goddammit! Healing again.

Sage: [amused] Well, right in time! Because it was starting to burn down.

[Masha grunts.]

And the charred wood is restored! But the fire is still there. Masha has two more charges before she passes the fuck out [chuckles].

Masha: [whispers] Oh god. Come on, come on, come on. You got this, you got this.

[She takes a deep breath and activates her powers again.]

Freeze!

[Echoing warble builds until all sound cuts off.]

Sage: Time is frozen!

Masha: Okay. Uh…

Sage: The fire is still.

Masha: Oh my gosh. Um.

Sage: But how much time does she have?

[Stat test chime.]

Roll to find out.

[Dice roll on table.]

Jessica: [whispers] 22.

[Success chime.]

Sage: Whoa. Yeah. You’re good. What d’you wanna do? [chuckles]

Masha: I’m gonna go inside… Is- if the fra- if the flames are still going, but they’re still, is it still hot? I feel like I should know this, because…I’m really smart. [sighs] But I’ve never- no one’s ever frozen…fire before. Not…like water. Okay. I’m getting way too… It’s much—

Sage: Times starts ramping back up. [amused] Masha spent all this time trying to think about what to do, and now the fire—

Masha: Alright. I’m picking up this big ol’ boulder… I’m hittin’- I’m throwing it at the—

Sage: Well, then you’re gonna have to roll Personal Strength instead of Powerful Strength.

Masha: [nervously] I’m throwing it at the fire hydrant.

[Net chime.]

Jessica: On the number.

Sage: Hmm. She throws it at the fire hydrant and it makes a little dent. Some water spurts out. [amused] That’s not enough to save the house.

Masha: Alright, I got one more. I got…

Sage: She has one more charge. She’s feeling very tired and very exhausted.

[Buzzing crinkle.]

Masha: Turn to steel! [gasps]

Sage: Masha turns into this big block of iron!

[Metal scrapes and echoes. Masha’s voice sounds like it’s coming from metal tubes.]

Masha: I’m gonna… Yes, yes, yes! [gasps] Punch this frickin’ fire hydrant!

Sage: She herself does not have a lot of Personal Strength when she’s in her steel mode, but…

[Stat test chime.]

If she could roll me full orange, that’s Personal Strength and Powerful Strength, we could maybe see how she can use her weight.

[Failure chime.]

Jessica: Personal Failed. 26.

Sage: Personal fail with a 26 on Power! Well, then shit. Fuck everything I just said.

[Jessica and Sage chuckle.]

This is the strongest aluminum alloy you’ve ever encountered. This is basically a new element. [amused] This is the strongest steel any— This would be studied in labs for generations to come. Through Masha’s motivation, she’s able to conjure in a tremendous amount of weight within her body. She herself is not the force, it is just through gravity that she lifts her fists and then lets it go!

[Masha growls as she slams into the fire hydrant. Metal clanks on metal. Water sputters.]

Water sprays.

Masha: Okay, I’m gonna make sure, while I’m steel, that Mr. Henderson’s cat is okay.

[Suspenseful music builds.]

[Heavy footsteps stomp as she runs inside.]

Sage: Masha runs inside, clanking metal down on the ground.

Masha: [pants] Uh, Whiskers! Whiskers!

Sage: She’s running outta time. She’s gonna turn back to normal very soon.

[Fire crackles loudly. Cat meows in panic.]

Masha: Whiskers! Whiskers! Come here. Come here, Whiskers!

[Cat meows.]

Whiskers, kitty, kitty, kitty. I know. It’s me. It’s Masha. I’ve come for you.

[Cat meows.]

Sage: Masha’s made of metal and tries to gently pick up the cat.

[Metal clanks.]

Masha: Okay, careful. Okay, I’m gonna shield you from the flames with my arms.

Sage: She’s extremely hot and the cat jumps out of her arms.

[Cat yowls.]

Masha: [frantic] No! Oh my god, I’m an idiot!

Sage: ’Cause she’s capturing the heat from her body!

Masha: Whiskers!

Sage: But luckily, the cat jumped right out the window.

Masha: [sighs] Oh, thank god. Okay, I’m getting out.

[Heavy footsteps stomp outside.]

Sage: And right as she exits the building Masha is human again.

[Masha’s coughing warps from metallic to organic. A car whooshes past.]

Masha: [coughs] The smoke is… Oh my god.

Sage: Then you see, there’s some [stifles laughter] dorky lookin’ kid, maybe six years old, standing outside on the sidewalk, who just saw everything go down.

Masha: Um…heeey.

Kid: Dat was so cool!

Masha: Yeeeah…What you just saw was, um…a…dream.

Kid: [Sage stifles laughter] What?

[Masha makes silly ghost noises.]

[Sage stifles laughter] No, I’m- I’m wide awake, I’m not…

Masha: Okay, well, um… Y- don’t tell anybody what you just saw, okay?

Kid: Oooh, I see. You wanna keep it a secwet?

Masha: [whispers] Exactly.

Kid: [whispers] Okay, okay. I’ll keep it a secwet.

Masha: [whispers] Okay, can you pinkie promise me?

Kid: [whispers] Yeah. What- what do I call you?

[Beat.]

Masha: [whispers] Roulette.

Kid: [whispers] That’s a very clever name. Whoever came up with that name is very clever.

[Sage stifles laughter.]

Masha: Oh, well, uh, thank you.

Sage: Masha turns around and turns around and goes to enter her home, but she notices…across the street! Right there! Is Lily. Her sister!

Lily: [distant, groans] Jesus.

Masha: Lily!

Sage: Banging on the door, trying to get in. And then she picks up a rock—

Lily: [distant] Sorry, Mom.

Sage: —and throws it through the window!

[Glass shatters.]

Masha: Lily! [coughs] I’m right here! Lily!

[Music builds and fades out.]

Credits

Sage: 20 Sided Stories is produced by Sage G.C., Jessica Dahlgren, and Travis Reaves.

Masha Mirova, aka Roulette, was played by Jessica Dahlgren

Character artwork by Rhea Lonsdale

and Direction, Editing, and Music by Sage G.C.

Thank you so much for your support as always. One more prologue is on deck, so I’ll see you on the next 20 Sided Story. Later.